Hope

I feel like pieces are beginning to fall into place on this quest. Posting every day has been impossible, but I've written most days, and the days I've done neither my heart has remained on this task. I appreciate the intentionality of this journey I've chosen to take. It is beginning to reshape many of the negatives in my life into positives.
One of the biggest discoveries I am making is one of hope.  Life is hard.  Sometimes it seems so much easier to give up. But what really would come from that? I'm beginning to believe that every time there appears to be a dead end, if one looks a little more carefully they will find hidden passage. Do you remember the scene  the movie Labyrinth where the  lead character can't see the passages until she is shown? It kind of reminds me of that. It is important here to note a couple of things: 1. Keep Trying! If you give up, you'll get nowhere. Keep trusting, and keep moving. 2. If it's not working, change strategy.  Continuing the same fruitless patterns over and over lead to an infinite cycle of a whole lot of nothing.  If I want to understand what it means to be complete in Christ, just saying it won't make it happen...
And so I'm studying. I have started a devotional and a book study in addition to my regular Bible reading that are focused on this topic. I am asking wisdom and feedback from you, the readers, who may get a piece of what I am missing. For the first time ever, I am wholeheartedly seeking God and not just letting him come to me.  This is more than attending a small group or listening to a good sermon  on Sunday morning.
I want this guys, and I'm realizing that what I want I must go after. If I'm going to reach this I must change my strategy. I must allow him to shape me.  I had a discussion with my supervisor today. She asked how far I've come on my journey of self discovery relative to how far I want to go. Realizing that I never intend to stop growing I could honestly say maybe half. There is so much room left for growth, so much history and so many negative patterns to overcome: I mean these things are embedded in my brain people!  No matter how badly I want to change certain things about myself there are 32 years of nature and nurture getting in the way.
I have hope though. Hope is Christ. Hope is finding that hidden passageway that keeps you motivated. Hope is knowing it's him that shows you where it is. And because I have hope, it's all gonna be okay.