Today was a really hard day.
Don’t get me wrong, it had a good beginning and an amazing end, but the part that was sandwiched in the middle: Well, it wasn’t so great.
I can’t go into details, but I found out information about a child that completely broke my heart. It affected me in a way that I did not expect considering the number of traumatic situations I hear of on a daily basis. I felt myself sinking into a total mess but had to stay together because as I received the news it was time to start my parenting group. I somehow made it through group and quickly left the building. At that point I didn’t have to be strong anymore so, I let myself go, shrinking into a questioning, depressed, pile of messy goo.
Two hours later I was rescued by two amazing friends. They took me for hot wings and they made me laugh. (No doctor could prescribe better.) One friend stayed with me for hours, driving, talking, and listening to “good” music. It was exactly what I needed. (Including the point where we were pulled over by OVPD. Let’s just say we made some memories.)
A book study I did once on friendships spoke of how friends play different roles in our lives at different times in our lives, and of how different friends can meet different needs. In making the decision to begin this journey and write this blog I chose 13 of you. When I thought of who to choose it wasn’t hard. Thirteen strong, intelligent, beautiful women: Women who at one point in my life have made an impact with your friendship, whose opinions I value. Each of you plays a part in my life. None of you are more important than the others. God designed friendships this way on purpose. You see, if any one of you could meet all of my needs all of the time then I wouldn’t need him. Those dark hours between 7pm and 9pm today I felt completely alone, yet I never was. He was with me. I had to lean on him and trust in him. He held me and encouraged me that all would work out. He kept me alone long enough to make sure I sought him first; then he brought in the reinforcements.
Today’s incident was an obvious trigger for me. Anyone who knows me could guess that it was the one thing that could sink me to the low level I reached. I question the timing of such an incident- three days into my 40 day journey… This could have been the thing to make me call it quits, to quit trying. But, like I counted yesterday as a win, so I will count today. I hung in there, I made it through, and I will make it through the next challenge as well.
I get how today applies to this journey of understanding completeness in him. When I am broken, when I am lonely, when I am happy, when all laugh: At all times I am his. He loves his children and he cares for them blessing them with amazing relationships.
So thank you friend:
-for speaking truth even when it was painful
-for teaching me to understand my family
-for being sunshine and all that is good
-for dancing with me
-for knowing just the right time to call
-for being a shining example of God’s love
-for making a tough transition to a new place a fun adventure
-for picking me up when I had nowhere to turn
-for challenging me to grow every time we talk
-for unending goofy trips to target
-for long walks and long talks
-for loving me for my silliness
-for being the one with whom I can dance in the rain
And thank you God that you have given me these friends. Thank you for being the ultimate friend. I am Complete in You.
<3
ReplyDelete